Adventures, Culture Clashes, Tesla Managers Visit Sick Employees & Getting the Interview Questions in Advance

Ever wondered how a seemingly innocent trip to Key West could turn into a stormy adventure? Join Cee Cee and me as we kick off this episode with some hearty laughs, celebrating International Podcasting Day and recounting the chaos that ensued when Cee Cee's boss came back from vacation. I also share my son's change of plans due to adverse conditions in Western North Carolina, which led us to plan an off-road escapade on the mid-Atlantic backroad discovery trail. Plus, we can't forget to give a special shoutout to our amazing Patreon supporters and tease a few exciting guests we've lined up for future episodes.

What's going on at Tesla's Gigafactory in Germany? We dive into the peculiar situation where employee call-out rates are off the charts, sparking discussions on cultural differences between European and American workplace policies. From the benefits of a paid time off (PTO) plan to absurd stories like an employee faking a relative's death just to get time off, we cover it all with a mix of humor and insight. Don't miss our analysis of case study interviews, where we weigh the pros and cons of providing candidates with interview questions in advance and explore the impact of company culture on interview prep.

The episode wouldn't be complete without some entertaining workplace anecdotes. From my experience writing a final paper on "American Factory" to the humorous yet stressful reality of monitored drug screens, we touch on every facet of the HR life. And if you've ever found yourself in a tricky situation, you'll appreciate our light-hearted banter about surviving HR, one "WTF" moment at a time. Tune in for a blend of valuable insights and laugh-out-loud moments that every HR professional can relate to.

Chapters

• 0:02 Jaded HR Podcast
• 7:02 HR Interview Preparation Best Practices
• 16:22 Case Studies and Interview Questions
• 26:53 Culture Clash in the Workplace
• 34:25 Random Drug Testing and SHRM Conferences
• 44:33 Surviving HR One WTF Moment

Transcript

Andrew Quolpa: 0:02

Had you actually read the email, you would know that the podcast you are about to listen to could contain explicit language and offensive content. These HR experts' views are not representative of their past, present or future employers. If you have ever heard my manager is unfair to me. I need you to reset my HR portal password, or Can I write up my employee for crying too much? Welcome to our little safe zone. Welcome to Jaded HR.

Warren: 0:49

Welcome to Jaded HR, the podcast by two HR professionals who want to help you get through your workday by saying everything you're thinking, but say it out loud I'm Warren, I'm. Cece, Right? So oh, you know what today is. I forgot to say this we're chatting before we start recording.

Cee Cee: 1:03

What is it?

Warren: 1:04

It's International podcasting day oh, wow yeah, yeah. So we're recording this on september 30th, international podcasting day, yay what a day, what a day yeah, yeah, I don't know if hallmark makes a card for that yet or not well, if they know what's best for them not Well, if they know what's best for them.

Warren: 1:30

And last week we had HR Professionals Day. I made a meme and I showed it to my wife. Let's just say it had something to do with lube and P Diddy and my wife did not allow me to post it. So she's one day maybe. Well, b diddy won't be in style anymore. But my wife said you will not post that, you will get canceled, you will get fired, you will get like okay that is too funny but imagine what happens to hr people that might need some lube Anyhow.

Warren: 2:11

That was what's going on in my sick and demented mind. I love it what's going on in your world?

Cee Cee: 2:18

Oh my gosh, nothing. I feel like my boss just came back today from his two-week vacation. So you know, although I am nothing but a consummate professional, you know, the monday when your manager gets back after a long two-week vacation is always fun oh yeah.

Warren: 2:40

Yeah, it's my. My boss is currently on vacation, but she always like anticipates and knows when it's going to be the slowest time, because like it's gone so slow and like what's going on, you know, I'm trying to drum up some things to do, got little ideas and projects and knocking a lot of those things out I'm like, ok, now we're we're done with that, that one's done next, and such. So yeah, and I'm really looking forward to the start of this fourth quarter. Some new government funding will come in, which means some new jobs and things like that. So yay, well, if they ever get this budget stuff worked out in reconciled, but yay yeah, yeah, it's that pretty boring week and a half.

Cee Cee: 3:25

Like, yeah, I got nothing. I missed international hr professionals day. I feel remiss. I feel like I missed out on the party. What else? Yeah, didn't even know, it's podcast day. I'm honestly, I'm just surviving because I have key west at the end of this week and oh yes. Although I think it's going to be a very wet weekend because of all the weather down there. But it'll be fun. That's all I'm doing just surviving.

Warren: 3:52

You got to eat some awesome key lime pie. I could eat 10 key lime pies.

Cee Cee: 3:59

I want some conch fritters, I want some key lime pie. I just want to sit in a body of water, whether it's a pool or an ocean, and I just want the. I want the salt water to cleanse me, and that's all I want from this vacation.

Warren: 4:14

Hey, yeah, my son and I were planning our little fall break. Thing is, this year his fall break fell in line with Columbus Day weekend, so I took an extra day off and we were going to do some off-road riding in Western North Carolina. Well, surprise, that's probably not going to happen right now. Out there, everything is destroyed. They're actually people. Do not go.

Warren: 4:36

I belong to an off-road club and these guys were all you know with their jacked up trucks oh, my truck can make it there. And someone from North Carolina Emergency Management got on the group and said no, you will not make it, do not try, you'll get in the way. More than anything else, I'm like, yeah, that's probably a really good idea, but yeah, so I'm looking for another plan. I think we're going to do the. Instead of the Trans-American Trail through Western North Carolina, I think I'm going to do the mid-Atlantic back road discovery trail from maybe the Pennsylvania line heading south until the road becomes starting to get a little too hairy. I don't think they got anything up there and that's what we'll do for our weekend of camping and off-roading. So, yeah, Nice.

Warren: 5:20

And drinking beers. Nice. Well, before we get too much further, I want to thank, as always, our Patreon supporters who they got a little hint of what's coming up. Actually, this is supposed to be the first episode of that, but our guest rescheduled so we will. I think next episode we will have a guest and we'll go into more next time on what this is, but I think y'all will enjoy it. We've I've got a couple more guests pending this week, so or for this project, so it'll be a lot of fun. But thank our Patreon supporters Hallie, the original Jaded HR, rockstar, bill and Michael. So thank you for your support. Y'all. You know this really helps out. I'm going to. Software services are due soon, so this really helps out. Software services are due soon, so I will be re-upping our software licenses next month and y'all's help really makes that happen and very, very helpful. So thanks a lot.

Warren: 6:18

Yeah, let's see here. Well, because we were supposed to have a guest, I didn't do all my homework. I did my, and I feel very bad. I did my homework for what the guest topic wanted to be and I never let you know what that is. So I'll have to let so you can do your homework too.

Warren: 6:36

Yeah, yeah, I've just thought about that, but anyways, I found a couple of articles today online and get this Now sick leave abuse is horrific, but it appears that Tesla in their giga plant in Germany is actually sending managers to their employees' homes to check on them while they're on quote unquote sick leave. So far they've checked on about 30 employees and their responses are not going very well. The employees are saying they're going to call the police, they're slamming the door on their supervisors and things like that.

Warren: 7:16

One of the things that goes on to say that the average call-out rate for automotive workers in Germany is 5% and the Tesla giga plant is running over 17% right now. So there's obviously some sort of problem going on. Well, one thing I found absolutely hilarious another article in this says that so 200 Tesla employees haven't showed up at all this year, tomorrow's October 1st. How have you had a job if you haven't showed up at all this year Tomorrow's October 1st? How have you had a job if you haven't showed up for nine months? I know the European way of doing things is way different than the American, but I would still like to think that if you don't show up for work for nine months, you might not be employed any longer.

Cee Cee: 8:01

I don't know. I don't know how that works, because you're right, I do know, like the, yeah, I don't know how that works, because you're right, I do know, like the I. I don't know because I know enough to be dangerous, just because I used to work at, like, a international company who had facilities in germany. But, like, if there's a german works council, which I don't know, if they have one for Teflon, which I think is a union Please don't quote me. I barely know what I'm talking about, but I'm pretty sure they can't do that. I don't know, that just sounds weird.

Warren: 8:35

Yeah, I didn't see anything about them being unionized, but then again it is Europe and that might be the norm, so it's sort of left out versus anything else. But honestly, I didn't read the whole thing, I skimmed through it. But, man, could you imagine hearing the Nakanoor going insert and there's your boss. Oh, aren't you supposed to be sick today? Or what if you don't answer the door and you're not home? That's a little crazy. But that's that's one of the reasons I'm in favor of just a paid time offline plan. Boy, I can't speak A paid time off plan.

Warren: 9:11

You're either here or you're not. I don't care if you've got the flu, I don't care if you're going to Key West. You're either here or you're not. Take your paid time off the way you want to take it. If you want to hoard up your PTO, then hey, you do that. And if you get COVID for two weeks, hey, you're covered, or something like that. And if you want to just be one of those people who earn a day, take a day and have nothing in the bank for reserve, hey, that's your prerogative too. But that's why I just love the paid time off plan. You know it works so much better and you know you don't have to worry about doctor's notes and things like this. The last thing I really want is a doctor's note.

Cee Cee: 9:52

Oh, that's like a whole different story.

Warren: 9:54

Yeah, employees, and I just anyways.

Cee Cee: 10:01

I always I read something once and I was like, oh, that is so right, and it was like a red flag for an employer is if part of their bereavement is that you have to show a death certificate to get your pay.

Warren: 10:11

Oh, that's awful.

Cee Cee: 10:14

Or to like get the leave. I should say, and like another one was like wow, it was yeah. Like you have to have a doctor's note every single time you're sick and it's like that's a red flag for an employer. I need you to trust me. Also, like people can't afford to go to urgent care. People can't afford.

Cee Cee: 10:32

So like now you're asking them to like not only get out of bed if they're sick, but drag themselves and spend money they don't have. Screw you any company that makes people do any of that. Are you listening?

Warren: 10:46

No, I 100% agree. You say you have just a really bad sore throat. You know I'm not going to go to the doctor for that. You know, I know, just wait it out, drink some tea with honey and, you know, sit at home, watch Netflix and a day or two you could be fine. I'm not going to the doctor's office for that. And if I were ever asked for a doctor's note, that would be a type of thing Okay, I'll go get your doctor's note, but soon you're going to be getting resignation. That's so lack of trust. And then where you start with the bereavement, seeing things where you need to send in an obituary Well, a, how many people don't have obituaries? And then, b, I could just clip oh, this is my Aunt Susie, find one. A I don't get the paper. I haven't bought a paper in years upon years, maybe even decades. I'll just find one in the paper and cut it out, or go online and print one out or something like that. I'm like, yeah, this is my great aunt Susie.

Cee Cee: 11:48

So I don't know if I shared this on here. I don't think I did. So I have a friend who works in HR and something came across, a little like email came across their desk and it was about someone in one of the facilities was like called out because she was going to her brother's funeral and she needed X amount of days. And I'm like OK, like they're like OK, that's fine, whatever. But then they started to piece things together and like her brother died, is not dead.

Cee Cee: 12:20

And then they use like security footage in the facility to zoom in on her as she's making a fake obituary for her brother so that she could have the days off. And it's literally like right, like they're zooming in on the security cameras what she's doing. And then she like bragged to a work friend that she was going to get away with it and the work friend kind of ratted her out when pressed Good, so like she was getting off a few days that she was going to get away with it. And the work friend kind of ratted her out when pressed, so like she was getting off a few days so she could go to some like festival. I don't know, but she got busted and it was the joke was this girl killed her brother to get a day off, so don't mess with her.

Warren: 13:01

Oh gosh, that's awful. I had a weird incident when my grandmother passed away. My dad has remarried an evil, evil, evil lady who has some children of her own, and things like that. But my grandmother did this whole. I was the administrator, executor, all that fun stuff. She did this pre-planned funeral thing. Her obituary was written. All I had to do was put in the dates. She wrote her own obituary. I mean, everything was so whatever, and then it was already paid for too. So all I had to do was put in the dates, send it in and get it approved. Fine, and I don't know how. But the obituary that made it in the paper also included my father's, wife's, children's names.

Warren: 13:47

I'm like these little fuckers just wanted to get a day off of work and have this. I'm like my grandmother didn't know you at all. Period, end of story. And the only time I ever heard my grandmother cuss was in speaking about my. In her whole life that's the only time I was like, oh, this is just beautiful. Somebody I'm assuming my father or his wife decided to call the local newspaper to get their names added to the obituary, like she doesn't know you I. And then to see them there just made me want to smack some people, that's crazy.

Warren: 14:29

Things people do. I was like really Just add my name onto this too. I don't know Anyhow, Fun stuff.

Cee Cee: 14:39

Just put my name on there too. It's fine.

Warren: 14:42

It's not like a welcome back to the office or a baby shower card. Hey, it's the pass around the office. Sign your name to this. Get my name on this too, but yeah, anyhow. So you found an interesting story online.

Cee Cee: 14:58

Yeah, so this is just like a little one of those little nuggets to think about. So I love whenever anyone quotes an HR expert, and this is from CNBC and the headline is this HR expert started sending candidates job interview questions in advance. Here's why. So it basically just goes on saying that this individual her name is Holly Taylor and she basically says that she sends everything in advance to the candidate. So this, basically, she says the candidate a message a week before their interview, outlining the format of the panel discussion and sharing a case study with them so that they can think about it and prepare in advance for the interview. She also gives the profiles of each person they'll be talking to and the list of questions that they'll be asked. So what are your thoughts on that?

Warren: 15:57

You know, until that last section, where you get the questions that are going to be asked. I like getting okay, here's the panel interview, here's what can be set up. Here's your profiles of your interviewers. I'm thinking this is awesome. Hr, she's doing this. This is what a recruiter should be doing In a case study if they're going to ask the candidate some questions about the case study.

Warren: 16:22

I like doing a case study and getting them to read this and get their mind working on it. But when it says here's the questions are going to be answered, ain't wrong, I'm like, oh, you had me all the way up to there. I was like, so happy and excited. This is good, you need to think on the fly. I don't know. They pre-send the questions. This is an elementary school that didn't get to know what the questions are anymore. I don't know. I liked everything. I thought it was awesome. I would love to get the profiles of the people. So, and you know what those profiles can help you with your case studies. You know I'm meeting with the VP of marketing and this person and that person and I can tailor my answer. Think big picture, not because I know the answer to the questions already, but picture. You know with this case study what it might mean to these individual people. But now when they ask the give you the questions. It's like, oh, that, yeah. What's the point of the interview at that point?

Cee Cee: 17:23

so I I love everything in this. I love that, like you said, I love the profile. Now don't get me wrong back, you know when, when I'm like in the market for a job and I get an interview, you basically, if they're doing it right, you'll get a panel of who you're meeting. And I do my internet stalking so I'll go on like LinkedIn and start just like trying to see who this person but it's LinkedIn and you can't really get too much from there. So it's nice that, like they're providing you with that, they're saving you some time of doing that sleething that we all know that we're doing or should be doing. I love the idea of like, hey, here's a case study, think about it ahead of time. I think that'll allow for some really good discussion and at first the questions, I was like now, but so here's how, here's her why, her why is so?

Cee Cee: 18:17

She said that she noticed immediately she was able to ask more thought-provoking questions and she could also give the candidate a better idea of the company's culture. So they gave, like this example of what one of the questions would be. I think the example is we believe that openness is something that all organizations should value and practice. With that in mind, what does working in the open mean for you and how would you foster transparency? With that in mind, what does working in the open mean for you and how would you foster transparency?

Cee Cee: 18:46

So I get what she's saying there, because she's basically saying like it's an, it's an opportunity for them to fold in, like what their company culture is about. And then she also says that if I was going to ask that completely cold in an interview, I think it's a bit unfair, because I think that's something that you really need to go away and consider and think about before you can have a good discussion. So I do get that, because there are some times where, if you're a good interviewer, you kind of know what the questions they're going to ask are.

Cee Cee: 19:16

Anyway, and second of all, you probably have like a canned response anyway, but it's always going to be like some generic canned response that you're going to tailor a little bit toward the company if you're doing your homework correctly. So she's kind of like cutting out that BS and being like I'm just going to like let's take that stress away from you. Like here are the questions now, but I think now that the bar for the answers has been raised, because you can't go in there now and give some like generic answer, I think you have to come in there batting a thousand with a stellar conversation.

Warren: 19:57

Yeah, I do. Okay, you've swayed me, you've changed my mind. You've swayed me, you've changed my mind With that. If you're going to ask some more in-depth questions like that, they do need some preparation for it. You're not going to walk in and be able to put all those pieces together. I can see it to a certain degree. Okay, I will take back my prior statement. I like it better, but I don't know. I still think it's a little. And they show me the interview questions. I'd be like what's going on? And then, like I said, I think I'd be under even more pressure because now I've got to give a gold star answer to these questions that I'm prepared. It can't be. You know, my philosophy in many things in life is close enough, is good enough, but in this case they've taken that tool away from you.

Warren: 21:02

They have this case, they've taken that. They've taken that tool away from you. Yeah, they have I. I can finagle my way, word smith my way around various things and come pretty close, be nondescript, like a presidential candidate. You know just that I'm not gonna say this, but exactly just talk a lot without answering the question. I could do that, but now they've given it to you so I can see where that is, especially the one Italian culture.

Andrew Quolpa: 21:26

Yeah, yeah.

Warren: 21:27

Okay, not awful Actually still pretty darn good, I guess. But coming from MSNBC, I've had so many articles I've used over the years. Some of their HR experts are just some of the hokiest, cheesiest advice you've ever seen. This isn't too bad, not too bad.

Cee Cee: 21:49

She also said something interesting which kind of immediately I'm going to admit this was immediately my thought, because she says being quick on your feet isn't everything. And she basically says how often do you really need to think on your feet? Even if you're in that moment and you don't know the answer, what do you do? You go okay, I don't have the answer for that right now but you leave and you figure it out and you get back to them and I was like exactly how many times in my career has my hair thoroughly been on fire to such a degree that I've like it was make or break in my career that I had to think on my seat and I don't? I think I probably had one of those situations, maybe two, but for everything, it's like you should be prepared. I don't walk into a meeting unprepared. I don't, like you know just host podcasts unprepared.

Cee Cee: 22:46

Yes, absolutely yes.

Warren: 22:48

Your future, dear current and future employer, know that I prepare for more for my job than I do for this podcast be able to think fast and maybe if they threw some curve balls in there that weren't on the question as well, just to see how you do. I would like that. Okay, here's the 10 questions we gave you. Here's the five or six we didn't. And they're not got you questions or anything, it's just I want to see someone think on their feet. I want to see things In one of our episodes.

Warren: 23:26

Once Upon a Time I told one of my things as a recruiter I would do is I would just leave a long awkward pause in the conversation and see how they fill that space and some of the things. They would just rethink something they just said I'm not asking anything, or they go backward, they just start mumbling and speaking. They can't have an awkward space. I loved it when people would just be saying awkward silence, let's go through, and I wouldn't let it last too long, but it was long enough. That was an awkward silence, it's just to see. I learned that from somebody. I thought, oh, that's so cool. When you're recruiting, everybody's got their little gotcha question, or maybe not a gotcha question, but their thing, their whatever their question is. That's not necessarily gotcha or something they do. And someone taught me the the, all the awkward silence. I was like, oh, that's, I'll do that, and so I did that for a long time. But yeah, but here's a, here's something for you. I I also did college recruiting for a while and I went to this school for the very first time and was excited to be there and start a new relationship and everything at this new school.

Warren: 24:38

And first student comes in great interview, great interviewee. I took a great notice. I was like, wow, if they all go like this, I'm going to be doing well. And the kid asked me some questions like, oh, these are awesome questions. I wrote down on my notes ask awesome questions, well thought out questions. Second interview goes really well the exact same questions to me. Third interview the exact same questions to me.

Warren: 25:03

I'm like, okay, okay, this sort of pulled back from it. They're good listeners, they followed instruction well and I even told the career service. I said you, you coached them too well. I got all the same questions in the same order from you know, at the end of the question, like they were reading from the script, they were handed and I said, you know, I was really impressed by the first person. But once I saw the second and third, the same, exact questions, same like okay, just yeah that that turned me off and we, for better or worse, we didn't continue to recruit. I mean, we went for another couple of years to that school but we just never got our our grip into, into the students that we wanted there. So we tried on with other schools. But yeah that, you know, I was so impressed, I was so excited. Yes, this person nailed it. I love this person and it made me change my thoughts on the first person.

Cee Cee: 25:57

All the same answers.

Warren: 26:00

Yeah, All the same questions to ask me at the end of the interview. So what, let's say this is you know, we've run long the last two episodes and one of them we had no agenda planned at all. It's going to be a little bit shorter this time, but that's fine. But I'll go ahead and drop some. Oh.

Cee Cee: 26:22

Can I ask a question? I think we're all dying to know what did you learn in your HR class this week?

Warren: 26:29

Oh well, my class wrapped up last week. What did you learn in your HR class this week? Well, my class wrapped up last week. I'm exempt from the final exam. I have a 104 average in the class, so I was exempt from the exam.

Cee Cee: 26:41

Probably be exempt.

Warren: 26:43

From the final exam. But I turned in my final paper and it was the. We were talking about the foyer glass company in dayton ohio uh, a case study on that movie, american factory, and the assignment was watch the movie american factory and he gave us we had to write a 10-page paper and he wanted us to cover these things in our paper. Not giving you not. There were yeah, there were things he wanted you to cover in the paper and I turned that in. So I'm waiting for the results of that. But I can vomit and still get an A in the class. No, it was really good. But the funny thing is watching a movie.

Warren: 27:24

When I went to Dayton Ohio and went to Dorothy Lane, Dorothy Lane to Dayton, ohio, and went to Dorothy Lane I because I missed my turn because that the road it's on is between whatever road and Dorothy Lane Boulevard out there in Dayton. So I went by and in Eastern North Carolina we don't have manufacturing plants like that, we don't. And this was like the biggest manufacturing plant I'd ever seen. But I recognized it like a few scenes and I was like oh, wow and I pulled. But I recognized it like a few scenes and I was like oh, wow and I pulled up. I went on Google Maps and looked at it and said oh, I drove directly in front of that to go because I missed the turn to Dorothy Lane. I went up in front of it and turned at the next block over there. But so that was sort of cool. It was really interesting. You know it had some very strong political overtones, the movie, but I would encourage you to watch it just the same. It's very interesting If you're into HR and culture building. It's about, I guess, the main premises. The Chinese company takes over this former GM plant to make it. Instead of making cars, they're making automobile glass. Now they don't want to unionize a lot of union pressure but it's a culture clash between the Chinese workers and the American workers overall and the struggles they went through, and it gives you some insight into the Chinese work culture where they're expected to work six or seven 12-hour shifts a week. They might get two days off in a month, they were saying, versus the Americans who were not going to work more than 40 hours a week. Period in the story. With that and it was a very interesting movie I ended up because to write my paper and hit all the bullet points I was supposed to hit. I probably watched it 10 times. I sort of watched it one time and I was watching it like 1.5x, but with the subtitles on, and each question I'd watch it 10 times. I sort of watched it one time and I was watching it like 1.5x, but with the subtitles on, and each question I'd watch it again and take notes and answer, watch it one time for each of the questions, but just to make sure I was answering correctly and had everything. But yeah, the HR class it's done and over with.

Warren: 29:25

I will say I have an A but I did learn. Say I have an A but I did learn. I'm not going to another five-week course. I will do the full 16-week course, or I should say this was like a seven-week course, but the first week was intro and BS and the final week, which is now, is the exam week and I'm exempt. So you know I get a week off this week before going into finance another short-term class for finance but I don't think I want to do short-term classes, except for maybe over the summer Again, because at least in this case, writing two to three three-page papers a week and doing work and living my life and doing everything else, that was pure exhausting.

Warren: 30:04

But I had a good time. I did learn a lot. I liked it. One of the things you have to do is do discussion boards and I am judging by people's intro discussion board. I was the second oldest in the class and seeing what these people would put in for their answers, and you know I liked it because I like to see how other people think. Even I can think they're wrong all day long, but I like to see how they think and I found that interesting and the discussions were probably as worth as much as everything else.

Warren: 30:38

I bought the book or rented it online, I guess you'd say for way too much money and I really didn't use it Once I discovered the lectures were based on, or the tests were based exclusively on, the lectures, then, you know, after the first exam I was like, yeah, I didn't need the book at all. And when writing papers, my son actually saved me a lot of time and he's got a word for it, which I forgot. But you write what you're going to write and then you go online and look for citations that match your thought and theory, rather than doing the research first. And he says and that way you're guaranteed not to plagiarize. But you write what you're going to write and then you find, cite the sources online to back up what you've written. He's like you can find anything you know.

Cee Cee: 31:22

My God.

Warren: 31:23

There's a name for it. I forget what he's calling it, it's not a citation, it's got a name for doing that. And I was like, wow, that's really good, you can find anything you want online, just cite your source and write what you're going to say. And I shared this with you in one of my papers I cited myself motherfucker, yeah, that's a flex. We were talking about the drug-free workplace and I quoted some of the conversation from our season four, episode 20, our 420 Marijuana in the Workplace episode. And so I quoted myself and Kate Bischoff on that and I was like, yeah, because it fit in perfectly to the discussion. And I was like got to do it. So I did.

Warren: 32:10

She was talking about there was a plant somewhere in North Dakota where marijuana is not legal, but they have a giant billboard says we don't screen for pot. And it intrigued her. So she called the company and asked them about it and they said, yeah, their applications have gone up 20% since they put up that billboard that they don't screen for pot. And I'm like, damn, you know that was a smart move on their part and you know so that, yeah, but that's why I quoted the fact that they got 20% more applications. So just part of our conversation there.

Cee Cee: 32:45

So do you know, I don't know. I worked for a company that was a I don't know. They were like, they were very strict. So when I accepted the job application or accepted the job offer, I had to do a full panel drug screen and I had to do some alcohol test. So I had to go in there and like that, like screened for alcohol and any kind of drugs, like everything. So I got fine, I drink a lot of water. I came up diluted. I had to go back and do it all over again and this time, since it was my second drug screen, like a follow up, a woman had to watch me pee and I got to really be honest, I think that should have been my red flag, like that was the yellow flag, and I should have like. In hindsight it wasn't like a great culture match for me and I'm like, oh, like you learn. But at the same time I'm like now, granted, it was no one from the company, it was from the drug testing facility right.

Cee Cee: 33:47

But still having someone like watch you. And then they explained that if I I wasn't, if I couldn't produce urine at that moment, then the offer was null and void.

Cee Cee: 33:56

So now I have like the most nervous bladder sitting on a toilet while a woman is watching me and she's trying to make small talk, like she's legitimately like, oh, the weather is crazy cincinnati, and I was so polite when I said this. I'm like, honestly, like, honestly, like I need you just to not talk to me, or else we're never going to get out of here. Like, just give me a moment.

Warren: 34:18

That is awful.

Cee Cee: 34:19

That for an HR job.

Warren: 34:25

I've heard of monitored drug screens. I've never known anybody that has at least told me they've had to do a monitored urinalysis, and it's not even a fun story.

Cee Cee: 34:35

It wasn't even like. Oh you know, like saw my parole. Like no, I literally drank too much water at a job interview or before going in and I came out it was for a job. Like it wasn't even a fun story.

Warren: 34:47

Here I am. I got my 40 ounce thermos, I I. My goal is to drink two to three of these a day and yeah, I'm sure mine would come out pretty diluted if if I were. As soon as that's. That's part of my. My new, healthy, healthier me is drinking two to three of those 40 ounce bottles of water a day. And do I always succeed? No, because I actually have to think about drinking versus just drinking, and I limit myself. I will back up. I will try to limit myself to one soda a day, but sometimes I can't, especially when I need caffeine. I don't drink coffee, so I need to get my caffeine kick in some way or another. But yeah, I monitor drug tests and then the test for alcohol. Alcohol metabolizes super quick. It's not like THC which is in your stream forever. It's like six hours later you can be drunk as a skunk and six hours later you're clean and dandy. What would they think you're coming in?

Warren: 35:50

None of it makes sense, I would hate to be the person who failed on the alcohol test portion of the test.

Cee Cee: 35:57

I really hate people. I had a direct report who told me that her old manager said that drug screens were like the easiest IQ test because basically, if they insinuate it, if if you know what you're doing, it's really easy to pass. And I was just like that's funny.

Cee Cee: 36:16

Like that's funny yeah, and I'm sitting there as and as she's saying this, I'm thinking of my experience and I'm like, yeah, unless you're showing up like drunk to that thing, like you're passing, like again, that's the easiest IQ test. Don't show up drunk when you know they're going to be taking an alcohol test.

Warren: 36:39

Well, if you're drunk I'm not that drunk I can do this. Yeah, oh gosh, oh gosh. And I know someone in HR who, hr, collected the specimens themselves and I was like, no, no, thank you, period, end of story. They told me they buy the like 6, 8, 10 panel I don't know how many panels built into the cup and the cup itself changes the colors and the hr person had to examine it and I'm like, no, not doing it, even even for a reasonable suspicion, like when I worked at places, they would always have an hr person, either drive them to a location to do a year oh, absolutely or they would get them an uber.

Cee Cee: 37:29

Go get it done, but they'll never like here's a cup, Give me some yellow Like that's not a thing.

Warren: 37:37

Oh gosh, and that's people can learn something here. That's what you do. If you have reasonable suspicion, do not let them drive themselves as you thought they were drunk or intoxicated, don't then they get in a car accident in the way and it comes out. Yeah, I had to go take a drug press work. They thought I was drunk. Well, geez, you thought they were drunk and you put them behind the wheel of the car. Yeah, so there's your learning point for you. You can learn something from today. Don't don't let someone you're, even if you're just I don't know, okay, I have.

Warren: 38:09

They did a. Their company did random drug tests and what they had is two, 10 sided dyes and they would roll them in whatever two digits came up If those were the last two digits of your social, in any order. So if it came up 32 and yours was 23, you, you had to go and this manager would say it would go to HR and say make sure this person's social comes up and is one that's drawn. And they he said the first time they did it because they were trying to be helpful to you know, the manager on their, you know, every week they rolled the dice and they had a special set of D and D 10 sided dice that they use just for this. And you know, they, they, they played along and they actually had a little form, that one part who rolled it, who died it and who witnessed it and they had to sign to say this was legit, that they were doing this and things.

Warren: 39:01

I was like you're going a little bit too far in the randomness. But yeah, if your uh social was either those two numbers or those two numbers in any order, it was your turn. I'm glad I don't have to deal with things like that.

Cee Cee: 39:16

So I have a story.

Warren: 39:18

Okay.

Cee Cee: 39:19

That has to do with randomly selecting people for a drug screen and it also has to do with our favorite topic, shrm. So this was I went to a SHRM conference years ago and it happened to be in Vegas, which, by the way, kudos to SHRM for at least choosing Vegas. But I met some. I was there by myself, I didn't know anyone. I bumped into this woman that works in Louisiana and then she met her old boss, who she used to work for in Louisiana, and we're all like meeting and having fun. So we became conference BFFs and it's a magical relationship that you make with people. It's like a best friend situation. You just get to know each other very well.

Cee Cee: 40:08

Anyway, we're like we're grabbing dinner one night and they start talking and out of nowhere, the one woman just starts saying like you know, I hear here in Vegas that weed is legal, and I was like I think you're right. So, anyway, now, mind you, everyone here it's SHRM, it's HR, you know. And so she was like I kind of always wanted to try it. And then I'm laughing at this point I'm a few drinks in. I'm like this is hilarious. So they're starting to talk. So two of them are coworkers and the one of them used to report to this woman. So this woman's like oh, like I kind of want to try it and it's legal, so why not? And I'm like have fun, like okay, and anyway she then said but I can't because we do random drug screens and like what would it look like if I, the head of HR, got like drawn and then tested positively? So we're laughing.

Cee Cee: 41:12

Again. I'm a few drinks in and if you know anything about me, I give you all the wrong ideas when I'm a few drinks in. To which I then asked how do you select these people? So she goes oh, I take an Excel spreadsheet of like the entire employee roster and I send it off to the third party and they randomly select.

Cee Cee: 41:34

I go, so you send a spreadsheet and she goes yeah, and then her like coworker, like caught on, and she's like just take your name off the list, take your name off the list. So I get a random text at like three in the morning because I'm like bye, bye, I'm going to bed because I also like to sleep and I love a hotel sleep. So I get a. I wake up and I get this text message at like two in the morning from these three women and they're like we went to a dispensary, we got this. Oh my God, it's my first time and she is having the time of her life. I'm getting voice memos and everything, and this is my story of why SHRM conferences are fantastic.

Warren: 42:24

Yeah, I could see that. Yeah, and once again, if you get hit for marijuana, you know North Carolina is one of the states that has tobacco and so but it's carried over to marijuana, which is still not recreationally legal but it's, uh, decriminalized or whatever it is and you can buy it. It seems everywhere. But yeah, if you, you'd have to say is hey, yeah, I had a great weekend, I, I had a really good weekend and so what are to do? I'm not intoxicated at work, and but you know, then again you have the federal contractor thing. So if someone is a federal contractor, it doesn't matter.

Warren: 43:18

Yeah, you can have that great weekend and have fun in the unemployment line, where you will not get approved for unemployment.

Cee Cee: 43:24

Yeah, right, but yeah, so she did take her name off that list before she sent it in.

Warren: 43:30

Good.

Cee Cee: 43:31

I was like good for you, I am nothing but a problem solver. Give me a problem and I will solve it.

Warren: 43:40

Hey, if there's a problem I'll solve it. I can't, I can't, oh Lordy. So yeah, maybe that's a reason I'll go to a SHRM conference. Let's go get baked at SHRM.

Cee Cee: 43:55

I will say they always do it in legal states. So I think they do it on purpose, because they're just like screw it, these people need a break.

Warren: 44:02

They're in San Diego next year, right, san Diego. Lord knows, I only get three million emails about it. I should have it grilled in my head Yep, san Diego, yep. So all you have fun out there in San Diego, go, help, go to Tijuana and do anything you want there. You go Cross the border into Tijuana and you're having more fun than you can have in Vegas.

Cee Cee: 44:23

So any we don't judge because, as your questionable meme hints, we deserve it.

Warren: 44:32

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, gee, we turned this short episode into a long one, pretty quick Lack of preparation. Nope, don't need it, so anyhow.

Cee Cee: 44:41

It's called thinking on your feet, okay.

Warren: 44:44

Best practice? I don't know. Go have fun, get stoned, do whatever you're going to do, have some fun.

Cee Cee: 44:51

Just do it, it's fine yeah, it's Halloween.

Warren: 44:54

You can go trick or bake, trick or treat.

Cee Cee: 44:56

That might be a little fun anyhow exactly and to amend that story, I lied I did go to the dispensary with them.

Warren: 45:02

So there's that yeah well, I hope you had fun too At the time. Was it a legal where you lived at the time?

Cee Cee: 45:13

No, it was not. It was not Now it is. Now it is, now it's not, but then it was not. So I am not a lawbreaker, warren. I only follow the laws.

Warren: 45:25

The law when it applies as it applies to that state. All righty, We'll wrap it with that. So yeah, we did our best practice. The intro and outro music is the Underschool Orchestra Devel the Devil and the voice artist is Andrew Kolpa. So thanks to both of them for use of their products and, as always, I'm Warren.

Cee Cee: 45:48

I'm Cece.

Warren: 45:49

And we're here helping you survive HR one. What the fuck. Moment at a time. Bye.