Jaded HR: Your Relief From the Common Human Resources Podcasts
Jaded HR is a Human Resources podcast about the trials and tribulations of life in a human resources department….or just a way for Human Resources Professionals to finally say OUT LOUD all the things they think throughout their working day.
Jaded HR: Your Relief From the Common Human Resources Podcasts
Have Some Self Respect. STFU and Don't Be a SWAG Hoarder at Conferences
Ever attended a professional conference only to find yourself surrounded by people who seem to have forgotten all basic etiquette? You're not alone. In this candid episode, Warren and CeeCee dive deep into conference behaviors that drive HR pros to the brink of madness.
From the Virginia SHRM conference comes Warren's unfiltered observations about attendees who disrupt sessions with incessant talking, take photos of every slide (complete with audible shutter sounds), and block hallways with impromptu meetings. His rallying cry for conference attendees everywhere? "Shut the fuck up" – a sentiment that resonates with anyone who's had their learning experience ruined by inconsiderate behavior. The conversation reveals how technology use, spatial awareness, and self-restraint around free swag items have become defining elements of professional gatherings.
The episode takes a fascinating turn when CeeCee makes a surprising confession about letting her SHRM certification lapse during her pregnancy. Now facing the daunting prospect of retaking the certification exam, she weighs the professional benefits against the considerable effort required. Warren offers counterpoint perspectives from his own certification journey, prompting a deeper discussion about the real-world value of these professional credentials. Their comparison of different certification levels reveals intriguing insights about test formats and preparation approaches that will resonate with anyone contemplating HR certification.
Between stories about dental anxiety, AI-powered heckler detection, and the cultural significance of limited-edition company merchandise, this episode captures the authentic, unfiltered reality of HR life. Whether you're a seasoned conference attendee or preparing for your first professional gathering, you'll find yourself nodding in agreement at these all-too-relatable workplace observations.
Ready to elevate your next conference experience? Subscribe now, leave a review, and join Warren and CeeCee as they continue helping you survive HR one what-the-fuck moment at a time.
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Had you actually read the email, you would know that the podcast you are about to listen to could contain explicit language and offensive content. These HR experts' views are not representative of their past, present or future employers. If you have ever heard my manager is unfair to me. I need you to reset my HR portal password, or Can I write up my employee for crying too much? Welcome to our little safe zone. Welcome to Jaded HR.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Jaded HR, the podcast by two HR professionals who want to help you get through to workday by saying everything you're thinking, but say it out loud. I'm Warren, I'm Cece, right, so you're sounding so much better, yay.
Speaker 3:I feel alive. Look at me, I'm not nasally, I'm not hacking. This is great.
Speaker 2:No, the last episode. There was only one call if I couldn't edit out in the last episode, so, but everything else was just fine overall.
Speaker 3:You're welcome America, Feel my hacks.
Speaker 2:I promised last Thursday the Office Episode 2 thing. I programmed it to launch on May 24th, 2026. I don't know, I spat, fingered it and I'm like why and the thing is it made me notice it. It, and I'm like why and the thing is it made me notice it. Uh, april is going to be a very high month for downloads of the podcast and I was like, oh, and then we're going to have and because we're going to have an extra episode this month, that'll just take us up. We might have a record for downloads for the month of april.
Speaker 2:But I look, why, why did it happen? We any downloads? And I look and I can see it there, and then I have to actually click on it to see that and it says zero downloads. I'm like I don't know. Yeah, 2026. So you won't have to wait that long. I've changed it. It is going to be a week from this after this episode and it will be airing. It's gone, it is set up with the correct date. Y'all will get that. And then, two weeks after that, we will have the office benefits or not, yeah, benefits episode, which is awesome, and I I think that's another episode that highlights the struggles of hr, because oh, benefit, hr is easy and I can do benefits and I could know you don't know what you're doing benefits and things like that.
Speaker 3:As you all know, I've started a new role, so there's a lot going into that. Other than learning what you're actually doing, there's also getting your benefits set up and then rolling over your what is it? The retirement plans. And I had just signed the family up for benefits and my, my husband, had some questions and he's like, oh, for some reason the dentist says that they're, we don't have that coverage. And I'm like, no, and I thought that I I panicked because I signed up for something wrong, yada, yada. And the benefits guy is like, no, that doctor's just probably out of network. And I'm like, oh, oh, my gosh, I felt like an idiot. I'm sure the benefits department is like why is this person in our hr team? Well, you know apparently I don't understand benefits.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I said, that's not your niche. I would forgive you if that were my team.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I felt stupid.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and dental is one of those things. I personally feel someone who deals with benefits regularly there's not much difference between any of the dental plans, really between MetLife or Delta Dental or you just go down the list of all the top dental providers, they're so interchangeable. But the difference is the networks, and I think dentists move and change networks much more than doctors. I've had that experience myself where, oh, six months ago you took my insurance and nobody told me, and now I'm paying out of pocket for this or I'm paying the amount for out-of-network service for this. I'm like, okay, well, new dentist, next time you don't need to schedule me another appointment in six months.
Speaker 3:And that's a crappy thing because I have well, I don't think I have it anymore. I used to have dental anxiety and it took a lot for me to trust a dentist. And now you find one, and it's just if they change and you're no longer covered by them. It's kind of heartbreaking when you get close to them. I I did get over my anxiety, though now I am obsessed with my 12 years of a no cavity and I am like let's go. We're going on year 13, 13 years no cavities, let's go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm the same way as you when it comes to dentists and I had. I went to this one. Well, backing it way up, don and I went to this dentist and he retired and we were like, okay, he wasn't as convenient because we'd moved and everything, but we'll travel because we knew him. But he retired. So we went to this mega chain dentist it's not mega chain, but for this area they've got like 10 offices and things like that First dentist I had, she was awesome, she was great, loved her to death and they transferred her to one of their other locations that I was not going to travel that far for her. And so then I got this dentist and picture, you know, a five-foot-tall Joe Rogan type person with definite Napoleon complex, short dude thing. So that's who they scheduled me with and I didn't care and for a long time I had a very bad tooth and my previous dentist had told me hey, this tooth is bad. One day it will abscess. Will it be to tomorrow, will it be next year, will it be 10 years? We don't know, but it'll abscess and you're going to be in a situation so you need to get it taken care of. But even my dentist said I prefer you to have the natural tooth in as long as there's no infection and all this. And so, as we did that and the doctor at that practice I really liked she said the same thing. She said you know, I'd prefer if you got it pulled sooner than later, but it is better to have your natural tooth in there. And this little Joe Rogan guy, he got like severe attitude with me. I really wanted to just punch him in the face. I I forget exactly what he said, but he pissed me off so I left. I, you know, I didn't even stay. You know, after he was done the hygienic, I was gone before the hygienist came back. I was like, screw you, um, you know the eric cartman, screw you guys, I'm god and and I was gone. So I left, I didn't go back. I went somewhere else and I found this dentist. I really like Now, this guy, he was a stoner, extraordinaire dentist and he was like he reminded me of Tommy Chong so much and he played in a band at night and all this other stuff, but he was just so cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, I agree. And he's like old, he's in his 60s at this time, but he's, yeah, dude, I really agree, I just have this. You know you're going to want to get it taken care of, but let's, you don't have to have it pulled immediately, but, like I said, it he's as an abscess is all just, whether it's weeks, months away. Anyways, I had him forever and he was really cool and I had the most coveted slot. On Monday nights he had a 6 pm slot and he always would say dude, if you ever go missing, I'm going to know it's one of my other patients, because everybody wants the 6 pm slot and you've got it. You know he's just.
Speaker 2:He was really a cool guy and he was funny and he didn't care about anything. He was probably stoned while doing my teeth and stuff, but he was funny and he didn't care about anything. He was probably stoned while doing my teeth and stuff, but he was good dentist and I really liked him. Well, he retired and the person that took over his practice I didn't know he retired. I showed up and they didn't take my that's a didn't take my insurance type thing and so I went to this other place and I've been there, I've been happy, but Dawn loves it. All three of the dentists are like super hotties, she says, and she's like I need to go get my teeth cleaned again. I think I have a bad tooth that needs looked at. It's like they're yeah, everybody there is like Dawn.
Speaker 3:Why are you going to the dentist every other week?
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly so. Anyways, benefits World, it's so much fun, it's so much fun, it's so much fun. I think the the benefits episode will be a lot of fun. Good there, so yeah, oh, and also I was talking about how well the ratings were last month. Y'all, I have y'all really liked our last episode with the something about sherm.
Speaker 2:Just touched a nerve yeah, like, and I went back episodes like when we had baked hr on and that it was. It was supposed to be a shorty sitting on sherm. We were supposed to just like, do a 15, 20 minute episode. That's all we planned for and it we I think we edited it down to an hour over an hour, something like that.
Speaker 2:But that one, when we hit a nerve, when we talk about SHRM, removing the E from the DEI or whatever I forget the name of that that episode did well. So when we talk about SHRM, y'all respond. So I'm going to have to come up with more dirt or something on SHRM or something along those lines to keep y'all coming back and things on SHRM or something along those lines to keep you all coming back and things. Those episodes I was telling Cece when Kevin was on that episode actually and it wasn't a jaded episode was the number one download for that year, the highest most downloads for that year, and the SHRM episode, at least in the first seven days, is outperforming that one. So I'm going to go gloat after.
Speaker 3:this podcast, at least in the first seven days, is outperforming that one.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go gloat. After this podcast, we have a competition. He's welcome to come back and try and regain the throne, I guess.
Speaker 3:It's on. I have a SHRM confession to make. Uh-oh, I didn't know this, but I let my SHRM certification lapse when I was pregnant. I wasn't in an HR state of mind and I went on about a month ago and I realized that my certification has lapsed. Now to recertify, you have to do the credits to say, hey, I'm still learning, I'm still smart. Well, since I didn't do that, the only way to get recertified is to take the damn test. So now there's the jaded part of me that's like fuck that, I'm not doing that again, whatever. And then there's the over achiever side of me that just really wants a certification. It's like the devil and the angel on my shoulder. And now I'm devastated that I lost the letters.
Speaker 2:What does your new job have to? Is it something they encourage, they want they? What is their opinion?
Speaker 3:I don't know, actually I have to do some digging. That's a good question. Yeah, we'll see.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I will not take that test again. I'm so ashamed I let it lapse.
Speaker 3:Do you see that behind me? You see that that's a lie.
Speaker 2:So there's no other option other than you're so far out that you can't take the exam. You have to take the exam.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's been a year.
Speaker 2:My assistant. She got her SHRM CP back in February. I'm really proud of her for doing that. But we would do the SHRM study, the quiz questions and things like that and I would say just for fun hey, let's check out what the SHRM SCP questions, quiz questions are and things like that, what the Serm SCP questions, quiz questions are and things like that. I thought the SCP questions were easier than the CP questions. When we were doing that, I was like I'm like I'm batting less than 500 and you know, doing the quizzes together. I studied with her and I had fun doing that honestly and I was learning too. But when it came down to quiz, I was, I was, I was at less than 500 and getting them right and the questions right. And then we let's, let's try the scp ones for this unit and we were getting. She was getting them right too and it's not like it's something because I have so much experience or anything like that. I was was like is the SCP easier than the CP? I don't know.
Speaker 3:So no, I didn't take the CP, I took the SHRM. What is it? I'm sorry, the HCR the.
Speaker 1:SPHR yeah.
Speaker 3:So I took the PHR, not the SPHR, and I remember I failed that exam once. I cried in the bathroom. I took it again, I passed it and it was a lot of regurgitation of terms, of definitions, of like kind of things that you know but you don't know. Know Like contextuallyually you don't have everything memorized verbatim or stuff like that. But then when I took that SCP, it seemed that it was more more rational thinking, more logical thinking. Here's a scenario how would you deal in this scenario? And it's like, well, that's fucking easy. Like not easy. I shouldn't say it's easy, but it's easier, as someone who's been working in the HR field, to be like okay, my experience tells me that you know da-da-da-da. And I felt that that's what made the SCP easier was that it was more scenario-based as it was.
Speaker 2:Tell me exactly what the the something, something act of 1971 did and I don't, fucking, I don't know, like you know, I can google, that you know, if I ever need to know, I will google that have you met chat gpt knows everything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I hear yeah, I well, my, I took. Well, I got the PHR in 2003. And then, rather than recertifying, I got my SPHR in 2006. And I kept that going. And then, after the, I call it the divorce between HRCI and SHRM. Yeah, because it got ugly there for a little while. But SHRM did the smartest thing in the world hey, watch this 10 minute powerpoint and we'll convert your sphr to a sherm scp. So I'm like I'm on it, I did it.
Speaker 2:Well, my, my employer at that time didn't appreciate, or didn't you know they weren't supporting and getting credits. There weren't, as there there are hardly any free credits, it seemed like out there. So I was on my own and so after a while I let it lapse. And then, when I got my current job, my boss told me out next, next cycle, I want you to take your, get your certification again. I'm like, okay, so I did and I got it the the sherm scp. But yeah, it was, it was really interesting. And but to think that and I think I never thought of it then, but until you said it, yeah, I think that in my mind the CP was harder because it's just regurgitation of some. What is the Mavis-Bacon Act or whatever? I can't even do it. What is this and what is that?
Speaker 3:Mavis-Bacon taught me typing.
Speaker 2:That's it, that's the typing. But see, you don't even know, but when you can apply what knowledge you do have. It seemed easier. So maybe if you have even a mild amount of experience, that the SCP might be easier. But who knows?
Speaker 3:I will say I was in, so my previous company. They were very much into the certifications, so this is a few years ago. They had paid not only for me to get my certification but they had also paid for me to attend these prep courses and this is graduate level once a week, three hours a week. They took it seriously and it was very helpful. And I'm laughing because I'm in the class and we're reviewing court cases that have happened and there was one for quid pro quo sexual harassment and it was it happened in my hometown of boca raton, florida, so it was like it was the person's last name, like flanderson versus boca raton, and I like excuse me, this is hometown Florida pride, right here, of course, there's a famous court case involving sexual harassment. That is Florida proud. But it just made me laugh because it was just such a random place.
Speaker 2:Yeah, going back eons and eons in the 90s. I remember specifically being in college in an HR class and us discussing that you could not have same-sex sexual harassment because that wasn't considered a thing and you couldn't have subordinate on supervisor harassment because the manager should be the manager. Imagine that and knock that one out, deal with the problem. And I just remember very specifically, I think the same sex harassment something's telling me it was an American Airlines case, but back then that does evolve and change. I mean we're talking 30 plus years but HR does evolve and change and nothing's changed more than it has the last hundred and some odd days in HR, it seems. But I won't go too deep into that.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's ever-changing landscapes apes.
Speaker 2:Well, my topic for today was I wanted to do a continuation on my experience at the virginia sherm conference, because y'all seem to like us talking and shitting on sherm and and things like that. Well, this time I'm going to be talking about the conference, but I'm going to be talking about the attendees, and maybe there's some of you out here that I'm going to be talking about and, yeah, some of you attendees are really got the. It seems like people have lost all etiquette and decorum and things like that. So I want to think of this as about being a good conference attendee.
Speaker 3:I feel like this needs intro music and a theme song.
Speaker 2:Be a good attendee, like an instructional video from the 90s. Well, and I actually wrote down notes. I've been doing more notes lately than I've been doing in a long time, but my number one bullet is shut the fuck up. So that's my number one bullet for being a good attendee, and I've got some bullets.
Speaker 3:Shut your mouth.
Speaker 2:Don't ask stupid questions. If your question pertains only to you, don't ask it in front of everybody. Take it offline and if you have a question you know, keep it at the 10 000 foot level big picture so everybody can learn from. Well, I have jane doe and she does this and I and get really in the weeds with their situation. I don't. Nobody else wants to hear that. Oh, here's another thing. No, don't interrupt and make asinine comments that add no value to anybody else in the room. Going along the same line, there was this one lady in one of the breakout sessions I was in and she would just no question involved. Say, well, my company does da-da-da-da-da, like she's looking for some sort of affirmation. Oh yes, good girl, pat you on the head. Your company is doing excellent, no question, it's just a comment, my company does this. Good for you.
Speaker 3:Nobody wants to hear that SHRM does not give gold stars. Everything at SHRM costs money. They're not going to give you a gold star for doing your job.
Speaker 2:But they give you the badge bling that says like I got the HR dude badge bling and I did not get that. I love HR. And the lady, the lady, when I'm up there getting the HR dude and the Sherm SCP little ribbons that you put on your your name tag and things like that, she goes you want that. I love HR. I said oh no. I said oh no.
Speaker 3:Can I just tell you I'm a sucker for that kind of nonsense like the bling. I went to SHRM and I went crazy over those stupid ribbons. I was first time attendee, shrm, scp talent. Well, I think I had like seven ribbons on there just like layered. Don't threaten me with a good time for Medals of Valor over there. I'm down. Yeah, hr Valor.
Speaker 2:It was funny. Those were funny ways. Like I said, I didn't have an awful time. It could have been better, but I didn't have an awful time. But under STFU, bullet number three, nobody wants to hear your uh-huhs, that's right, and all your loud comments to yourself throughout the I had someone behind me was just doing that the entire breakout session and I'm like okay, this is getting too, too bad and not a showing of the rocky horror picture show you do not have to interact do we have a first?
Speaker 2:anybody here, it's their first time do they even show the rocky horror. The place what used to show here doesn't anymore.
Speaker 3:I do it's been a while since I've been to one yeah, the gen, the gen zers are not going to know.
Speaker 2:All that is the rocky horror picture show. It's it's. It's a suck-ass movie, but it's the experience, it's an experience. It's an experience. It's not suck-ass, but it's not a great movie. It's great in my heart. And you can't watch it because if you watch it on TV, I know I'm going down another rabbit hole. You just don't get the same thing out of it as being there in the theater and things like that. So anyways, agreed, bullet four under STFU, take your sidebars outside.
Speaker 2:Let me tell you I had it was a breakout session. It was in the main rooms and there was maybe 60 people in the room and the room held hundreds of people and the people the lady behind me is just like talking and talking, talking to person beside her and and I actually had interest in the topic and wanted to listen. So I said I turned around and said excuse me, like two or three times and then I just got up and I moved like five seats over to get away from directly behind them and they kept going. I couldn't hear the speaker and I just finally I said it in a not loud, not soft voice say excuse me. I moved because I couldn't hear because of you. Can you please, can you please be quiet so we could hear? And but yeah, I that I found that just extremely rude.
Speaker 2:And then my final stfu bullet was if you ask, can you get a copy of the slides, just get up, go, you know, play in traffic somewhere. I, that is one of my can we get a copy of the slides? And they've even told you, hey, this most of the presenters slides are going to be available through the app, the, the seminar app or whatever it was a conference app and things like like that. Can we get a copy of the slides? That just kills me. That was bullet point number one.
Speaker 2:Bullet point number two oh, I had a little bit of time. It didn't take me that long, but I had a little time on my hand. I was motivated. Technology is my next bullet. Oh, yeah, a silence. Your phone people. You know you, you might be the most important person in your entire company I'm sure you are because you're an hr pro and things. But you know, put it on quiet. Everybody has a phone, a smart watch. I nowadays, I don't ever have the volume on my phone on because I'll get a buzz on my watch and I look at it. Okay, I'll accept, decline whatever, get rid of it, but you don't need a loud ringer. And if it does for you, oh, go ahead.
Speaker 3:I was gonna say it's funny that you say that, because there was a time when I was a teenager where we used to pay like $2 for a ringtone so that we could be like the person to have Blink-182 playing in a polyphonic melody. And now I don't remember. I don't even know what ringtone I have on. It's never been on. I have never had my phone on. It's always been vibrating on my watch, or just vibration. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it in my personal life. I certainly don't want to hear yours.
Speaker 2:And the only time I will say that I turn the ringer on on my phone is like when my wife is traveling or flying or something. I want to make sure that I don't miss any phone calls or anything like that. I will turn it on then, but it usually goes right back off anyways. But if your phone does ring, for Christ's sake don't answer it. Or if you do answer it, say hold on and get out of the room and don't have your conversation in the room. I just common sense people. Bullet point three under technology.
Speaker 2:And I will admit this is probably a shortcoming of mine, just because I'm an old curmudgeon-y guy and maybe because when I went to college people didn't take computers. Nobody had a laptop in the early 90s that I knew, at least In my fraternity. I was the only person with a desktop computer in my fraternity. So yeah, there weren't a lot of computers. You went to the computer lab. But anyways, the clicking on the 7 am breakout, the 7.30 am breakout session, and I live over an hour and a half away and I'm not a morning person. I got up there, I got in, I got there on time, ready to go, and this person is. It sounded like she had a freaking typewriter. I was just waiting for that ding and then the return noise as it returns. It was so loud and it was I don't know I. I was like do you? I wanted to turn around just to see did she have a typewriter? I've never heard a keyboard that loud on a computer in my life.
Speaker 3:It was so yeah that that I was that person, I'm that person I don't think you could have a keyboard that loud I have nails and my nails clickety-clack on a keyboard and that is I.
Speaker 3:I was in a conference once and someone I think they I don't know if there's a sensory reaction to pen clicking, like people. I know that drives people crazy. This person thought I was clicking my pen. No, I was clickety clacking on my keyboard. And the guy like interrupted the whole session and was just like can someone stop clicking their pen? And I was like, and this is like 70 people in a room? And I was just I think that was me. So anyway, I'm so paranoid of typing in public now no, I can't imagine that being just fingernails.
Speaker 2:That was like it felt. It sounded like mechanical pushed down hard key strokes that you would have to do with that. It was really, really bad. My fourth bullet under technology, taking pictures of every goddamn slide.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, this makes it all better. First, the session that the lady that was sitting directly in front of me was doing this one a. It was on ai and hr. So I'm like, you're not even ready for windows 3.1, much less ai and hr. But she had. I've never seen an ipad it was an ipad brand this big. I mean my computer, my laptop monitor is 15 inches, I think it was bigger than that and she stood up and took a picture of each slide. Not only that, but each time an animation came and a new thing came on new line, she'd stand up again and then triple down on that. She had the little shutter sound on her ginormous iPad. So every time she hit the button to take a picture or whatever the sound is that, it does it, and I was just I was losing it. But, like I said, the monitor on my laptop in front of me is 15 inches. It was an iPad and it was bigger than that. I've never seen anything that big. It was crazy.
Speaker 3:But the shutter sound on and all this, I'm like yeah it was bad and also the slides will be given to you.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:You don't have to take a picture of the slides.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and standing up to do it too. Not only did she stand up, she held her ginormous iPad up above her head as she's doing it, and I think my grandmother, who's still alive at 106 years old, could do better than she could at dealing with this stuff. Aw.
Speaker 3:Grandma.
Speaker 2:Anybody is years old could do better than she could at dealing with this grandma. Anybody is. Bullet number three be spatially aware. This is a something that's left human beings for eons. You know we've lost the ability to be spatially aware. Whether you're in the grocery store or at a conference, like there's to the main room where the big speakers were was a corridor and of course one wall of the corridor has sponsors and tables and things like that. So your corridor space is cut in a third right then. And then you just have people just all of a sudden decide they're going to stop in the middle of this busy corridor and have their little conversation and block the progress for everybody else when, hey, I've got to be in the other building in five minutes for my session I want to do. Just get against the wall, take it out of the corridor area, do something, but don't have your ketchup in the middle of the corridor. Be spatially aware in the middle of the quarter, be spatially aware. I'm like, ah, and then my final bullet is have some fucking self-respect. I absolutely. You're so salty. I have some fucking self-respect. These people don't. How many of those stupid shopping bag totes with whatever stupid vendor that you're never going to use or hear from again. Do you need? These people are lining up and the same thing pisses me off at Costco or Sam's Club or anything like that People lining up for your little two-ounce sample of flavored water or a granola bar, that you're getting like one thirty-second of a granola bar and you're lining up for that crap and that. But they're lining up to get this, this shopping bags and things like that.
Speaker 2:I walked around the exhibitor halls and things like. I just looked around. I didn't. The only piece of swag I actually got was UKG was one of the premier sponsors, was like putting it in your hand as you walked by and it was in my goodwill pile. I had never even made it inside the house, it was in the goodwill pile in the garage by the time I got home.
Speaker 2:But but they some of these people I kid you not were going like losing their shit over these shopping bags and had one of those shopping bags with like six other shopping bags more than six shopping bags inside, had one of those shopping bags with like six other shopping bags, more than six shopping bags inside of it. That's what they were, the swag items they wanted to pick up. And you know the only thing that I don't have any dogs anymore. Mine are all across the little rainbow bridge but there was some, like had a little tennis ball. I was like, oh, if my dog was still around I'd get that, I'd go by and pick that up and things like that. But people, you're hoarding, this is hoarding. You're the people I do not want bringing something in for potluck lunch because you've got the cat hair and you've got the other stuff. You're the reason I will not eat at a potluck.
Speaker 3:I do a potluck, I will say popular opinion. I very much dislike swag. I am not a swag person For a lot of the reasons that you just said, because I A I'm too lazy to bring it home Like there's nothing. There's assuming that I go to these things and I'm traveling and I'm on a plane and, like you know, there's the logistics of all this crap. I won't bring it home. The only way I'll lose my crap over something, if it's something like that is of any kind of useful value to me oh, give me like an upgraded power bank, or I'll do that. Or maybe, if you have a Stanley Cup that you have branded with your logo, I'll do that. Or maybe, if you have a Stanley cup that you have branded with your logo, I'll do that. But I'm not gonna stand in line for a pop socket of a brand that I don't use. That's just for me. I don't, I don't care.
Speaker 3:And I remember I went to a Sherm event once and I met up with you know, you meet someone there and you start to kind of chat and walk around with them and she was a swag person, she was a swag girly and I don't. I don't need this crappy 89 cent water branded water bottle. I don't need it. So anyway, I don't. I'm not a swag person, again, unless it's something cool. How about a nice for my company, right, put a nice company logo and hoodie. I'm all about that Because, again, some days you're lazy and you work from home and you just want to throw on a hoodie and it's company branded and you're in dress code and it's so easy and wonderful. I'll do that all day. Coffee mug, sure, but no, I don't want it. For a company that I don't even use, unless I work there. I don't want it.
Speaker 2:When we moved now I don't drink coffee, my wife does, and when we moved we've got rid of literally hundreds of coffee mugs. Things we picked up over the years former employers well, former employers of mine, she's been things we picked up over the years, former employers, former employers of mine as she's only she's been the same place 17 plus years but former employers of mine and just things you pick up and you get somewhere where you're like no, no, no, no, and like you're one person and she saved like six coffee cups and mugs and that's it, and now she's basically only using her Stanley-style cups for her coffees now. So those four, six, whatever we saved, are just gathering dust somewhere in a cabinet somewhere.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I can't tell you how many mugs and cups that we've purged over the years.
Speaker 2:It's like no, and Goodwill doesn't even want that shit anymore yeah, I don't need an adp mug.
Speaker 3:I don't even use adp as an hris. Why would I want this?
Speaker 2:yeah, exactly, and I, yeah, just. But I will say, on the swag end, when I did college recruiting, we I think our swag budget was a little bit higher. We got some cool toys and neat things. Let's see, when did I quit doing? Stop doing that. I think I did that in 2005 is when I stopped. So it's been a long time since I've been recruiting, but at the end of the conference none of the recruiters wanted to pack up their shit. They're like giving it to other recruiters and stuff like that, because the recruiters have better stuff. At least in the 90s or 2005 when I quit doing that, you had cool stuff and I would get some things to take home to my kids and things like that. But after we were closing, hey, before you pack away, can I get one of those for my kid? Yeah, yeah, have it. Can I get a Frisbee? Yeah, you know we would swag trade on doing that, but none of the recruiters wanted to pack their crap up.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, Although I will say I have a natural love and a gift for actually creating good swag. Nothing gets people more crazy than having like a limited edition of something.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:And the same goes for company swag. And I would say, if you do have invite only programs or anything like that, like leadership programs or something like that, invest in some really good programs or something like that. Invest in some really good I don't know, like whatever. Whatever water bottle or shit is popular at the moment and you get that branded with the year and only x number were made and it's only for participants. People lose their mind for that stuff.
Speaker 2:They want it well, the only other job my wife has had as an adult well, actually she started before she was an adult was at, I guess you might even say, people's former favorite French company, target. She was there for a very long time. I think their reputation has sort of taken a nosedive recently.
Speaker 3:Some stupid decisions.
Speaker 2:So she was. They did these, these things, for they called them hypo classes. So you got identified as a high potential person and a swag they got was really she's still. She's been at her current company 17 years and she did the hypo because she ended up moving into management there somewhere along her her career, but she's. We still have this attache bag target and it's like hypo I don't even know the year that's written on it or anything like that hypo team or a class of whatever, and it was a nice high-end attache bag thing and like, yeah, we'll put our to this day for traveling and we need to take our computers with us. That's, that's what she uses and and.
Speaker 2:But where I was going to go with this is people who were not high potentials got pissed when they see, you know, here here's dawn, in her little attache or her hoodie or whatever that says you know, hypo class of 2010. I don't have it would have been longer than that, but no, maybe I don't know. Yeah, too long or not. She's been gone since then, but you know, whatever, the hypo class of whatever is they. Those people got to go to minnesota. They got to do this extra trainings and development and, and and the people who were not selected? Were they probably? I bet most of them left pretty quickly. She was telling me about all these people sneering at her. I'm like, do your fucking job and you can be. It's not that hard to be a hypo.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so one of the things that I don't know if you're familiar with the Levenger brand, but they make like disc notebooks.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm not familiar with like this notebook either so they're leather leather front, leather back, and then the only thing that binds them are these really? They're literally discs and they're like loose discs. But once it's specially paper, specially punched, so once it's all together it looks really cool. But anyway, I got I call I lovingly call them Flevenger because it's like the Office Depot version, but it's like the same kind of disk system. Anyway, I special ordered those through the website and if you special order them through the website you can get them embossed. So they basically take an embossing thing and emboss the leather. So I got the acronym of the program, which was MDP. I got that embossed and all 20 participants got one of those like fancy leather notebooks with the MDP embossed in it.
Speaker 3:People lost their damn minds and this is one of the similar programs where people would travel in all over from the country and yada, yada, and yeah, people lost their minds. I got calls, I got everything, like can I get one of those? And I'm like, no, you have to be part of the program to get one of these binders. Sorry, you can't sit with us. Try again next year. I don't know what to tell you.
Speaker 2:Not a cool kid. Also, a company I work with got these really nice faux leather but what do you call them? Portfolios that you know you can hold a pen, a calculator, business cards, a notepad and things like that. They were faux leather but they were embossed with the company logo and all the new hires got one on their first day and they had it before I started and but we got to the point where people would keep coming in. Well, first, one time my the hr supply room got raided and like dozens of them ended up missing, which you know, along with some of the nicer polos that were really supposed to be for managers.
Speaker 3:but I, I'm like this is why we can't have nice things yeah.
Speaker 2:And that's what ultimately happened. They wanted to do budget cuts and those damn portfolios. I fought for them because everybody loved them, and it was, you know. Oh, and the next person we hired oh, you started and you didn't get one of these really cool portfolios. I mean, I have mine somewhere still. It was a really good, nice product, and it was, you know. I even tried. I told him I wanted to keep it and I said I'll go for a lesser brand, a cheaper product. You know, I think this was a is it K-Swiss or something Swiss brand or something. It was really nice but like, yeah, we could, I could go to a lesser brand and I can save a few dollars per one. And no, they didn't want to do that. So, okay, those went away and I was like I would just hate to be that next person. You know, our this, this recruiting class got our last one and then the next recruiting class sorry, you get. You get a t-shirt and a little plastic cup and whatever else.
Speaker 3:And a ballpoint pen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly so. Swag is good, you can have some good things with it, but the stuff they're giving away at the Sherpa conferences, there's nothing. Like I said, one of the companies had a tennis ball If I still had a dog I would have grabbed it but no dog, no ball. So yeah, y'all are hoarders, but no dog, no ball. So yeah, y'all are hoarders. So that's really all that I had for today. You have anything else?
Speaker 3:I got nothing. I came a little unprepared to today's meeting, so I apologize. I provided some great insight, though oh, I will say you know, you reminded me. Yeah, I gave myself credit. I provided great insight as she passed herself on the back. You did. So I will say just your whole topic of being a good conference attendee.
Speaker 3:A few weeks ago, three of our friends went out to a comedy club, and one of which she's a lovely person, she's just also a messy person and I guess she had a few drinks before she went to the comedy club pre-game and while she was which is, yeah, just a classic pre-game which I I cannot pre-game anymore, that is that, that's just it would. It would be bad, but I would actually. So, anyway, she pre-games, she goes to the comedy club, they have an opener to warm everyone up and she started heckling the person and then she was drunkenly heckling them and just kind of being rude. Our other two friends were just so embarrassed they're like we're not with her and finally she was just like this sucks, I'm out of here and she stumbles out. She got an uber, she's fine, she's messy, but she's responsible.
Speaker 3:And anyway, the punchline of the story is that, as they were leaving my one of the friends that remained. She has one of those wearables like the ai wearables, okay, and she lets it play all day, she lets it record all day. So she lets it record all day, so it just gives her end of day notes and it picked up the whole interaction of the friend heckling the comedian and being very rude by the way rude and it just gave my friend articles of how to be a good audience attendance and I thought that was fucking hilarious. She was like, yeah, the ai thing, just heard the whole conversation hold the, heard the whole interacting at interaction and then sent her articles on how to behave proper etiquette at a live show and I was like this is how, this is how ai will save the future oh, I'm, I'm all in.
Speaker 2:if that's the case, all in. I love that. I was hoping for a story, because I don't go to. I've been to a comedy clubs, I don't know a few times, not that many, but it seems like every time I go there's a heckler, the drunk guy.
Speaker 3:So stupid.
Speaker 2:And I love when the comedian just stops and they've prepared for this. You know they're ready. You can't say anything to them. They haven't heard before. You know, like going back to when I was umpiring, you know the saying is you never argue with umpires. It's like mud wrestling with a pig. It's fun until you realize the pig enjoys it and the heckler is ready for anything. You may think you're the coolest, smartest, wittiest person. They've heard it before and they've got a comeback ready for you. And I went to this one guy. I actually ended up feeling a little bit bad for the heckler. I couldn't remember what he said, but the comedian just decided, oh, it's on, and just destroyed the guy and then the guy got taken out. He didn't say anything more after the heckler started. But after the heckler was it? The guys in the yellow shirts had him leaving Bye-bye. It's like I said before, I love watching that Torrance of Yellowstone. I'm always rooting for the buffalo or the moose or whatever animal it is.
Speaker 2:I'm like, yeah, just yeah gore them, stomp them, it's a natural selection yep, exactly so.
Speaker 2:Speaking of selection, you can select to become a patreon supporter. You just follow the links to the show. It sounds a great saying show. Follow the links to the show notes and support us on Patreon, like Hallie, the original Jaded HR rock star, bill or Mike. So thank you for your support. I haven't checked reviews lately. I meant to do that before the show, so next show I will see if there's any reviews, but please leave us a review. We will read it good, bad and different on there. And if you're not using Apple Podcasts, send it to us so we know about the review, because there's so many other good pods and pod friends and all these other places that I just can't check them all. There's a review out there, so let us know and we'll read those on there. But give us a review. It helps us grow and I promise, promise, promise. A week from today you will have Office Rewatch Episode 2, diversity Day. It will be there, I promise, not in 2026.
Speaker 3:I know it's like Lucy with the football it might be there, it might not, who knows?
Speaker 2:It's your fault, charlie Brown, for falling for it every single time. You block it Every time. All righty With all that. Let's see here the intro is the voice artist is andrew colpa, who does the intro, and then the music is underscore orchestra devil, the devil, and now, as always, I'm warren I'm cc and we're here helping you survive. Hr one. What the fuck moment at a time yeah, thank you.
